Welcome to LOUN 🏢
The Legion of Upstairs Neighbors is an elite organization of apartment dwellers who have mastered the ancient art of making noise at the most inconvenient times. We are legion. We are loud. We are ALWAYS wearing shoes indoors. 👞
Our Story 📖
For too long, upstairs neighbors have been unfairly stereotyped as inconsiderate noise-makers. We say: if you can't beat them, BE them. Join us as we embrace our destiny and perfect the craft of strategic stomping, late-night furniture rearranging, and bowling ball dropping at 2 AM. 🎯
Core Values 💎
🔊 Maximum Noise
Why walk softly when you can stomp enthusiastically? Steel-toed boots are encouraged. Carpets are for the weak.
⏱️ Perfect Timing
The best time to rearrange furniture is 11 PM on a Tuesday. The best time to start your morning workout? 5:30 AM. Every. Single. Day.
🤝 Brotherhood
Teaching new upstairs neighbors the sacred techniques passed down through generations of ceiling-dwellers.
Join the Legion 🎖️
Do you live on any floor that's not the ground floor? Do you own hardwood floors and a complete disregard for "quiet hours"? Are you ready to assert your dominance from above? Then the Legion needs YOU! 💪
Visit Our MarketplaceBecome a Card-Carrying Member
Join the elite ranks of LOUN! Get your official membership card, certificate of achievement, and exclusive access to advanced stomping techniques.
Only $49.99/year
Get Your Membership Card